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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534256">A Shrike &amp; Its Thorn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavymetalqueen/pseuds/heavymetalqueen'>heavymetalqueen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Character Study, Isayama Reunite Eruri Challenge, M/M, Relationship Study, ok i will shut up now</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:27:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavymetalqueen/pseuds/heavymetalqueen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>i miss Eruri so much it stresses me out 24/7 !!!! so I wrote an angsty emo poem about their relationship </p><p>also features some blink and you'll miss it smut :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman &amp; Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Shrike &amp; Its Thorn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>dedicated to my darling beta Bree, my twin soul. i wouldn't be me without you. x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>According to the US National Library of Medicine,<br/>
Which I never would have thought to consult<br/>
Except in such dire circumstances as these,<br/>
‘The behavioral and neuropsychological processes<br/>
Modulated by serotonin include:’</p><p>Mood: He is light, and air, and dreams, and I am dark, dark, dark. It cannot be.<br/>
Perception: But the pinpricks of his light are reaching me, and<br/>
Reward: I find our hands clasped anyway, then we are bleeding into each other.<br/>
Anger: They believe they can come closer to his lovely, waiting throat.<br/>
Aggression: They do not see me. I am waiting in the eaves, knives sharp, eyes focused.<br/>
Appetite: Afterwards, we are one. I have never been more parched. I have never been more sated.<br/>
Memory: You were the safest of shores to me land on, but I sent you out into a storm from which you could never return. Now all I can taste is salt.<br/>
Sexuality: Perhaps things were not as clear-cut as I thought they were.<br/>
Attention: In the next life, my sheets will cling onto your scent for longer. In the next life, the candles will not melt, leaving us to dine in darkness. In the next life, I will not let you out of my sight.<br/>
Among others: For now, I work alongside them. In them, I find slivers of you, but I am never again whole.</p><p>Mood: I have never succumbed to the temporary passions others fall prey to. But with him around, I simply cannot focus.<br/>
Perception: It burns, this dream that has been like a star to me all my life. But it no longer guides me. Now he is that which I orbit around. He pulls me in as a black hole would, and I am surprised that I don’t mind.<br/>
Reward: I can say, at least, that I held off for this long. But his hand is there, right there, curled over a teacup, and I am lost to the world.<br/>
Anger: Then the world returns in bits and pieces and I am enraged. I cannot protect him, but he stands by my side anyway.<br/>
Aggression: They have spent their lives in willful blindness. They do not see him. But I have always lived with my eyes open. I see him. I always have, and I always will.<br/>
Appetite: With the calloused, powerful hands that have slain beasts, he gently traces over the scars and bruises on my skin. When he reaches the space where my arm used to be, I imagine that<br/>
Memory: I am raising my hand again, and I feel all those eyes on me. Teacher, how do we know<br/>
Sexuality: What makes us human? What makes us worthy of such a heartbreaking, lovely gift?<br/>
Attention: The indent your head leaves on the pillow beside me; the clink of silverware at our quiet, post-expedition dinners; the seashell you left on my grave; the way your hand tightens almost imperceptibly on your blade when you think of what you have lost. I carry it all in my soul and it weighs heavily on me, but it also anchors me to you.<br/>
Among others: I have given them a great burden to bear, and now it is my turn to listen. There is the thinnest of glasses between us, my love, and this is the closest I can get to breaking our separation into shards.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let me know what you guys think about this. any feedback is super appreciated </p><p>there will also be a lot of angst in the next few fics so watch out for that :') I love pain apparently</p></blockquote></div></div>
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